when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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