im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
