At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
