I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
