I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
