So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
