I feel great
I just peed on a car
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
