He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
