There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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