Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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