Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my vag is so smooth its legendary
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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