Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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