loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
