They should really pass out barf bags in church
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
