Porn is love you can see.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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