i love accidental penises.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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