I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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