i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
