Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
