i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You ate ashes out of my bong
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
