I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
