Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
