you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
