he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
