bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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