I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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