I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
