idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
