I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
