Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
