Pappa wants mamma naked
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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