i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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