we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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