her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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