peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
