And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
