White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
