So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
