So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
