Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
my liver is dry heaving
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
