i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
