I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
