she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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