all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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