I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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