good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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