i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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