it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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