are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
