Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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