do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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