I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
