haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
